29 June 2020
Click onto image to enlarge. Let me know your response to this photomontage. Prints are available upon request.
Day 111: Days I have stayed-at-home since the onslaught of the pandemic; my first task each day is to write my thoughts as they appear; they plot my mind’s meanderings by first light. Sometimes it’s phrase or sentence. Others writings are multiple paragraphs.
I awake and know that I’ve earned another day. Light fills the room with thoughts of how to spend the next few hours. Already my agency has allowed a half hour to disappear, thinking about the mixture of responses to the implosion and explosion of action and inaction from winter’s chill to summer’s heat.
Over the last three and a half months some family and friends continue to shop safely for groceries and other necessities. But I’ve remained tethered to my home and gardens. In my mind’s eye uncertainty has become even more uncertain, tugging at my heartstrings. Still, some anxiety has eased, only to be replaced by others. I cannot easily turn on past external routines, except gardening and walks in nature. Each day works to pull me closer to acceptance and understanding about how to navigate within my own boundaries. Small transformations are appearing.
I’m adjusting day by day. My circle visits in my backyard, following my state’s recommendations, being sensible as science leads us, not desire. Now the great outdoors, which has always been an essential part of my life, is tantamount as an extension of home. And I’m fortunate to offer a quiet place for visitors, including wildlife. Since time is friend and foe, I embrace my ability to map days and nights.
Our inner and outer worlds are woefully filled with heightened awareness. I remain vigilant as others seem to enter the world as though turning on a light switch They act as though wearing blinders is the better choice, better than the proven use of a mask. How do they live with the knowledge that they can infect others as well as themselves? Risky behavior to be sure. And while I’ve earned another day, I am determined to make it a meaningful one.
Truly, I hope that this post finds you adjusting to the changing landscape of our lives. Some of you have continued to contribute to your blog, and I applaud those of you that are diligent and inspired. Clearly, I am not ready to return with consistency.
I am following my instincts, my heart, floating through these difficult times with an eye to how time’s gifts can best be used. I’ve been image-making and writing, just not sharing them online.
While time continues to bemuse me, its hold on my mind also remains. Its power quickens and recedes, always its movement or stagnation astonishes.
In the Lens section is my ode to time’s grasp upon me. It seems apt that a white lacy flower from a native climbing hydrangea is the basis for this photomontage. It grows at a glacial pace and its timeless floral beauty longs for attention and understanding. The blossom of this flower and its various stages exemplify the life cycle and its relationship to time.
As I continue to adjust to protecting others and myself, the gift of a day offers each of us the choice to use the creative process to enliven and inspire. These past few months have redefined and re-imagined how to honor the preciousness of time. While some are on pause, others are producing new bodies of work.
That notion is not new to human’s reaction to change, what is new in my lifetime is the number of intersecting crises: economic, health and human rights injustices. This combination challenges our thoughts about the past, present and future.
These crises pierce our notion of the world as we naively thought we knew it. Or I knew it. They challenge and force confrontation, they enlist us to persist in the dark and light of uncertainty. They encourage a new way to see others and ourselves.